


BERLIN SEVEN

by bvorr



Category: Original Work
Genre: Accidents, F/F, Long-Distance Relationship, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Space Stations, space, space travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-03-23 11:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13786878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bvorr/pseuds/bvorr
Summary: Amanda lives on BERLIN SEVEN, a space station located between two systems in the middle of space.She’s in love with Djuna. But Djuna lives light years away, on Earth. Nevertheless, the two of them do their best to finally meet each other.A love that bridges unimaginable distances.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my original SciFi LGBT Romance Story that I've been working on for well over a year. I've been sharing the English Translation in installments on Patreon but to reach a broader audience I decided to change my approach, so here we are.
> 
> I'm excited to share my Baby with you!

Amanda Sandburg loved the way home from her university.

Often she would stop for a moment and put her head back to look up to the four rings that crossed each other over the highest level of the BERLIN SEVEN.

Today however she was in a rush and instead ran in the direction of the staircase that would lead her to her train. She shot past Or, her best friend.

“Hey, Amy!” he shouted after her. “Do you have a date?”

“Kind of!” she shouted back and laughed, her head only turned back halfway while she was already climbing the first steps to the train platform. Or knew what was going on. Today she would confess her feeling to the person that she liked.

The express train was just entering the station as she arrived at the top and she barely managed to get through the barrier and the automated doors before it departed again. Amanda let herself fall onto one of the free seats but was too hyperactive to sit completely still – one of her legs bounced up and down nervously.

BERLIN SEVEN was no ordinary city and her eight and a half million inhabitants were no ordinary people. She was a space station, a colony constructed in a neutral zone between several constellations.

Usually Amanda looked at the passing houses, but today she only looked at the station display impatiently. Six more, five more, four, three…

At her stop she jumped out of the train. It wasn’t actually necessary to run home but she was too excited to walk. She rounded a group of Garuxers carefully – even if quickly – and then she was through the barrier and on the street that would lead her home. She lived fifteen minutes away from the station on foot but in her sprint she was a lot faster.

“I’m home!”, she called, out of breath, as she unlocked the door – but didn’t get an answer. She grinned. Of course, her father was on an away mission at the moment and her mother was still at work as well. She had expected that, but to see herself proven right like this was good – there was no one who could distract her.

She took off her shoes with a few hasty movements and got herself a glass of water from the kitchen before she disappeared into her room and turned on her computer. It only took a few seconds until her communications program had booted up and a smile spread on her face when she saw that Djuna had already logged in.

She touched the button without thinking about it.

A moment later the familiar face of her friend Djuna appeared on her screen.

“Hey,” Amanda said and smiled.

Djuna smiled back, almost shyly. “Hi.”

They had gotten to know each other during Amanda’s last year of school, a kind of pen pal relationship between people living on Earth and inhabitants of BERLIN SEVEN – even though letters of course weren’t part of the communication anymore. It had been a lucky stroke, they had hit it off immediately and bonded quickly thanks to their favorite TV show – which was about mermaids on Syum III.

“How was your day?” Amanda asked, and she didn’t have to see Djuna’s incredulous look before she started laughing. “Night, I mean, of course.”

“I slept like a log,” Djuna said. “I’m still angry that BERLIN SEVEN’s day cycle is the exact opposite of mine.”

Amanda stuck out her tongue at her. “Move to a better timezone then.”

If Djuna didn’t live in Mexico City but farther east on Earth, they wouldn’t have this problem. Thailand or China would be Amanda’s first suggestions, but Djuna was very attached to her university.

By now they had been friends for almost two years. Djuna was a year older than Amanda and had thus already been a student when they had met, and she had told her that she had been in love with her historic university from the first moment she had seen it. Which was good, of course, because that meant she hadn’t had to move – exactly like Amanda.

“You come back to Earth,” Djuna said as a reaction and grinned.

“Back?” Amanda asked and raised her eyebrows, amused about the mistake. She hadn’t even been born on Earth.

Djuna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, come _visit_ it then.”

Amanda took a deep breath. “I’m saving up for it already,” she said earnestly. In the last year their friendship had become closer and they often talked more seriously about meeting each other. Especially in the last few months. Amanda’s heart beat faster every time the topic came up.

Interplanetary journeys were easy and fast by now, but still expensive for civilians. She knew that she would have the opportunity one day to travel and work outside the star system, but between that future and the present lay at least two more years of studying.

“I know,” Djuna said and smiled.

For a moment it was quiet between them until Amanda plucked up her courage. The moment was perfect. Now or never. “Hey, um… I was thinking, and I wanted to ask you something.”

Djuna looked like she knew what was about to come. Colour was creeping up her cheeks and she looked to the side for a moment before their gazes met again. “Okay?”

Amanda felt her ears grow hot. Damn, she had wanted to avoid blushing. She was a little scared of freezing and being unable to get a word out, even though that usually wasn’t her problem. But this was different. There was something on the line.

“I... really like you,” she said and a wide smile appeared on Djuna’s face. “And… umm…” She interrupted herself to press a hand on her chest and force herself to take another deep breath. “Would you go out with me?”

Djuna threw her hands in front of her face but Amanda could see her eyes peek through between her fingers, and the smile at the corners of her mouth – despite her hammering heart that threatened to drown out everything else. It took a few seconds until Djuna could answer – until she lowered her hands again – but then she nodded eagerly. “Yes! Of course!”

Amanda bit her lip. “Be my girlfriend?”

“I thought I already said yes!” Djuna laughed.

Amanda couldn’t keep the grin off her face, even if she had wanted to. “I know, but I wanted to make sure.”

Djuna shook her head and bit her lip. “You’re incredible.”

“I know.”

She just sat there for a moment, beaming, and she was at a bit of a lack for words. Djuna seemed to be the same, and so they were united in their silence, and it wasn’t uncomfortable.

Finally Djuna looked at the time and sighed. “I have to go to Uni soon.”

“I know,” Amanda said. “Go and get ready. I’ll write you!”

Djuna slightly rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and you’ll distract me from the physics lecture. I guess today I won’t be able to focus anyway.” There the smile was again, and the corners of Amanda’s mouth crept upwards automatically, too. “All because of you.”

“Good,” she said quickly.

“Why is that _good_?” Djuna asked, but she was laughing. “I have to study, or I’ll never get onto a spaceship.”

“Physics is intuitive,” Amanda said but she was struggling to keep a serious face. Natural sciences and physics had never been her strong suit in school but she had done her best to learn the most important things. One couldn’t like in the middle of space without having to know a few things.

(One couldn’t be interest in spaceships without having to know a few things.)

Djuna raised her eyebrows. “I’m going to be an engineer, babe.”

Amandas heart jumped at the petname. She wouldn’t have thought that Djuna would already be brave enough to do that. “I know,” she said gently and ran her hand through her hair. “But zero gravity training is still more interesting than all theory.”

“I don’t have that again until next week,” Djuna sighed. She looked at the time again and swore. “Okay, I really have to go!”

“See you later!” Amanda called.

Djuna waved at her and ended the call. The brief afterimage had barely vanished when Amanda raised her hands to her face and put them on her cheeks. Soon she would get muscle aches with how much and how wide she was grinning.

Technically she would have had to study for her language quiz now but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to focus anyway, so she pulled up a different chat window.

Amy: _she said yes!!!_

Or: _YEAH!_

Or: _when’s the wedding?_

Amanda rolled her eyes but laughed. Typical Or.

Amy: _wow_

Amy: _hold your horses_

Amy: _we haven’t even met in person yet…_

Or: _that’s the next goal then_

Amy: _before or after the wedding????_

Amanda sighed and leaned back. Meeting each other. The next goal – and a problem. But they would make it – she had already saved a bit of money and next semester she would be assisting a professor with a project and earn some money there, too.

They were going to make it.

  


  


Amanda had been born on a planet close by, Amaran, which her parents had taken as inspiration for her name, but she barely remembered her place of birth – she had spent almost her entire life until now on BERLIN SEVEN, surrounded by never ending space and artificial atmosphere.

She couldn’t imagine anything else.

Of course, she had been back on the planet she had been born on once, when she had been seven, and with eighteen she had taken part in an excursion to one of its moons, but she didn’t have the same connection to any of these places that she had to BERLIN SEVEN. Homesickness for Earth, a place she had never seen, was foreign to her – even if she would really like to see the original Berlin one day. It came much, much closer to wanderlust.

But even more than that she wanted to see Djuna, touch her, trace her collarbone with her finger and count every dot of gold in her brown eyes.

  


  


  


The next morning on her way to university, the artificial atmosphere still cool this early in the day, she was incredibly happy. She felt like she could achieve anything. And everything thanks to Djuna.

When she was standing at the station she spontaneously pulled out her communicator.

Amy: _good morning_

Amy: _i still can’t believe that i can call you my girlfriend now_

Djuna: _omg. you’re so cute_

Amanda grinned.

Amy: _you’re blushing right now, aren’t you?_

Djuna: _you can’t prove anything…_

For a moment Amanda wondered if she should start a video call but then the express train entered the station and she sighed. Maybe later tonight, when Djuna woke up again.

  


  


Focusing in Uni was hard, especially during the history lecture. Normally she was very interested in the subject matter but today she thought it was hard to concentrate on what had happened two hundred years ago when the present was so much more enthralling. She would just have to go over today’s topic again at a later date.

During her break between two courses, her communicator rang.

She furrowed her brows when she saw Djuna’s name. Technically it was too late for her, she should already be in bed. She accepted the call and pushed her bag higher up her shoulder. “Hey! I thought you were already asleep.” She held the communicator angled in a way she could see Djuna’s face on the screen.

“I was up late to finish an essay,” Djuna said and rubbed her eyes. “And my dog is asleep and looks so cute, so I had to show him to you before I go to bed. And of course I had to say goodnight.”

Amanda’s heart felt as if she was flying. As if she was in an anti gravity cell. It was the same feeling when she came back from a journey and flew back into the space port of the BERLIN SEVEN – seeing the skyline of her home. It felt like she was coming home, only a hundred times better.

Djuna changed the camera setting so Amanda could now see her dog – a Corgi-Husky-Mix. His head was lying on his paws and his tongue was peeking out of his mouth a little.

Amanda had to laugh. “Why is he sleeping like this?” she asked.

“No idea!” Djuna was laughing, too, and now Amanda could see her face again.

“Take a picture and send it to me,” Amanda said, “I have to show this to my mom.”

Djuna grinned. “Will do.”

“But then you should sleep,” Amanda remembered and nodded seriously. “Shoo shoo into bed.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m already on my way.”

“Sleep well,” Amanda said and had the urge to touch the screen with her fingers, even though neither could Djuna see her doing it nor would she reach Djuna’s face.

Djuna smiled and had to yawn the next moment. “Have fun with the rest of your Uni day,” she then said.

“Good night!”

“Talk to you later.”

A minute after the call had ended, Amanda’s communicator gave another _Ping_ , but this time it was only a picture of Djuna’s dog. Amanda sent her a heart back.

  


  


After the last lecture of the day she had agreed to meet Or in the library to study vocabulary. The Catrian language was threatening to be her downfall this semester; the verbs were too complex and she knew that she was a little behind and had to study a lot before her midterm next week.

Or greeted her with a bright grin in front of the library.

“So, how much do you remember from history?”

Amanda pursed her lips. “Almost nothing.”

“That’s what you get,” Or said.

Amanda couldn’t argue with that – he was right. She sighed. “Let’s just go in...” She was interrupted by her communicator.

Djuna: _good morning! :*_

Or put an arm around her shoulders. “The girlfriend?” he asked.

Amanda just so managed to avoid blushing. “Yes,” she said. She caught herself quickly however and pushed his arm off her shoulder with an eyeroll before she walked through the front door of the library.

She could feel Or’s eyes and his wide grin at her back but she didn’t care. She was happy – he could make fun of her all he wanted. He didn’t mean it, anyway.

Amy: _already awake?_

Amy: _you didn’t sleep very long…_

Djuna: _couldn’t sleep anymore. I’m just gonna lie down again later._

She did her best to focus on the vocab. It helped that Or jabbed her in the side every time she checked her communicator for new messages, and tried to read over her shoulder. She would rather fight her way through this task than take his excessive curiosity.

At some point she had to give up anyway. She sighed, pushed her tablet away and ran a hand through her short hair. “Are you sure that this is a real language?” she asked, desperation in her voice.

“Hey, the Catrians would probably be insulted if they could hear you,” said Or and clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

“Yeah, alright, I’m sorry… but these verbs just don’t make sense.” She didn’t have a lot of time left to get this vocab into her head and the verbs were driving her insane.

“You could study with Djuna,” Or said and winked.

Amanda stuck out her tongue at him. This wasn’t helping. “I think it probably makes more sense if we ask Mendrz...” Knowing a Catrian was definitely useful. Even though Amanda would probably have to buy xier a few expensive drinks as a thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and come visit me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/bvorr) <3


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks later, Amanda came home with good news.

“I have a flying lesson tomorrow!” she said excitedly when Djuna accepted her call.

Djuna stared at her with wide eyes. “I thought you’d have those next semester at the earliest?”

The mandatory shuttle flying courses were usually towards the end of the studies and Amanda was only in her second semester. On many planets they weren’t required, but space stations like the BERLIN SEVEN had special status – and thus every student learned how to at least get a shuttle from A to B.

“I moved it up,” Amanda said and shrugged. “I was too impatient and my grades in the simulations have been flawless so far.”

“So far,” Djuna echoed and laughed.

Amanda pushed out her lower lip and pouted but then had to laugh, too. “That was mean.”

“Only a little,” Djuna said.

“Eventually I’ll just steal their shuttle and fly to Earth,” Amanda said.

Djuna laughed and buried her face in her hands. After a moment she straightened up again and shook her head. “Shuttles have too little fuel, babe.”

Amanda sighed. “I know,” she mumbled. “Then I’ll just capture a big ship.”

“Alone?” Djuna asked and raised her eyebrows.

“I’m getting the feeling that you don’t really want me on Earth,” Amanda joked. “I could probably convince Or to help me.”

Djuna rolled her eyes. “Yes, absolutely,” she said firmly, “but not through methods that will end with you in prison.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” Amanda was quiet for a moment before she came out with her next big idea. “One day I’ll have my own ship.”

Djuna had to laugh again. “You’re not taking any command or captaining courses,” she said.

“I could still add some,” Amanda said and pouted. “Do you have to be so realistic?”

“One of us has to stay on Earth with her feet,” Djuna said.

Amanda grinned. “Good thing that my feet have never been there.”

“That’s why your head is in the stars.”

Amanda had to laugh but at the same time her heart swelled up. Djuna was right – she had always been a little too big for her boots. Maybe that came with the reality of growing up in the infinite blackness of space – the stars always just a step away. She had always been closer to weightlessness than the ground.

  


Flying was better than Amanda had imagined. The simulations didn’t do it justice.

The controls of the small two-person shuttle that all beginners started with – no wing-class, too fast, too sleek, too demanding – were familiar to her. She immediately felt at home when she touched the pilot stick.

She had previously flown countless times as a passenger in shuttles, even in small ones like this. But sitting behind the helm herself was an entirely different experience. She already noticed the difference when she got permission to leave the port. Undocking still made Amanda nervous but when she steered the shuttle vibrating under her through the open doors it almost took her breath away. The feeling of having the endless vastness of space stretching out in front of her was incomparable.

She almost would have pushed the stick forward and accelerated but then she remembered where she was. This was a lesson. A test situation. Her teacher was sitting next to her.

It was breathtaking anyway. They circuited BERLIN SEVEN once and Amanda could look at her home from a perspective that she usually got to see rarely – and definitely not from the pilot seat.

The suns of the closer systems burned in the distance and she didn’t wish for anything more than to be able to just let go and fly away. But that wasn’t the goal of the first flying class. She was lucky that her teacher had even let her fly this far.

After an hour it was over and she had to fly back to the port, with nothing more than promises that she would one day fly towards a real planet. Amanda couldn’t wait. She already knew that this feeling wouldn’t let her go. She wished that she would never have to leave the ship again.

Amanda couldn’t shake the feeling, even after she had the firm ground of BERLIN SEVEN back under her feet. She knew what was out there and she wanted more. She had tasted blood.

  


She immediately called Djuna after she had exited the train and was walking towards her apartment.

Djuna’s face was beaming at her from the communicator. “Hey! How was it?”

“Fantastic!” Amanda hadn’t even looked around before she had thrown the word at Djuna. Let people stare. “One could even say… out of this world.” She winked at her girlfriend. “But we’re not on a world, of course.”

Djuna laughed. “Well, the BERLIN SEVEN is your world.”

“That’s true.” Amanda nodded and rounded a corner. She still felt as if she was flying. As if the artificial gravity of her home couldn’t hold her anymore.

“I should become a pilot,” she said with total conviction and it spoke for Djuna’s love – or her self-control, Amanda wasn’t sure – that she didn’t immediately start to laugh.

“You could still switch majors,” she said instead. Amanda really loved her.

She shook her head. As great as it would be – she would probably never be captain of her own ship. At least not in the next ten years.

“I’ll take a few extra courses in any case,” she said. “Get all my licenses – or at least as many as I can. I definitely want to fly some of the small jets, but you can’t get to those outside of the pilot academy if you haven’t done a few hundred hours in a shuttle.”

Djuna was looking at her like Amanda had single-handedly created all stars in the galaxy and it made Amanda pause. “What?”

Djuna put her chin on her hand and smiled. “Nothing,” she said. “I just love it when you’re so enthusiastic – especially when it’s about things that broaden your horizon.”

For a moment Amanda wasn’t sure how to answer that. She nervously brushed her hair out of her face and was happy that she was on the way home and had an excuse for not answering. Djuna laughed. Of course she had noticed Amanda’s embarrassment, as rare as it was.

“I’ll do it, just you wait,” Amanda then said. Self-assured and dreaming. As usual.

“Good luck.” Djuna sounded as if she really meant it. Amanda was so happy.

  


The extra work was stressful, but the possibility of her pilot license was worth it for Amanda.

She now spent an extreme amount of time between Uni and space port but she took care to always take time for Djuna. Even if it was on the train to class or on the way home, or the quarter of an hour before she went to bed, she always asked her how she was and how her day had been.

She didn’t want her new-found obsession straining her young relationship and was very happy about Djuna supporting her.

So Amanda was also encouraging when Djuna signed up for a three-day excursion to the Earth Station in the outer orbit and the space port not far away.

It was a little weird to not be able to talk properly for thee days – the communicator reception on the station was bad something, and Djuna was very busy – but it didn’t bother Amanda. A problem only arose when Djuna was supposed to fly back and then didn’t report back.

She was late, and it worried Amanda. When her communicator finally indicated a new message she almost fell off her bed with how fast she tried to reach it.

Djuna: _i’m home_

Nothing more. Worry lines appeared on Amanda’s forehead. Something definitely wasn’t right, it was too early in the morning in Mexico and Djuna had been supposed to arrive yesterday evening.

Amanda: _that took a while!_

Amanda: _is everything alright?_

For some time there was no answer, and then only a single word.

Djuna: _no_

Amanda stared at her communicator and a hundred different scenarios ran through her head. Her heart was beating in her throat and she felt panic closing up her windpipe.

Amy: _do you want to talk about it?_

Djuna: _i don’t know_

Amy: _okay_

Amy: _i’m here for you and i love you_

Amanda had almost accepted that she wouldn’t be able to help her, from so far away, and without her agreement to tell her what had happened, when, a couple minutes later, another message arrived.

Djuna: _video chat?_

Amanda hurriedly got up and turned on her computer. She had barely opened the program when Djuna already came online. Amanda pressed the button to call her.

Djuna looked terrible. Her dark skin was much paler than usual. It seemed as if she hadn’t slept for days and Amanda could see tears in her eyes. She had wrapped herself in a thick pullover, even though Amanda knew that it was midsummer where she was.

“What happened?” she asked.

For a moment Djuna didn’t say anything and looked like she was getting choked up. “One of the shuttles crashed,” she then breathed out flatly.

“Oh,” Amanda said. She didn’t know what else to say, overwhelmed by the urge to hug Djuna and comfort her. “Oh Djuna. I’m so sorry.”

“Two students died,” Djuna said, “and my professor. He got six more people out of the shuttle but for the others… it wasn’t enough.” She tried to take a deep breath but failed, she fell forward and buried her face in her hands.

“Djuna,” Amanda said helplessly. If she at least would have been able to do something… She wished she could just travel to Earth. But her arms didn’t reach that far. Transporters didn’t reach that far.

It took some time until Djuna straightened up again and wiped the tears from her face.

“Are your parents there?” Amanda asked.

Djuna shook her head. “But they picked me up from the hospital,” she said.

“The hospital?” Amanda repeated. Was Djuna injured herself? She looked at her scrutinizing automatically, searched her for injuries, which she wouldn’t have been able to see anyway since everything but her face was covered.

“Precaution,” Djuna said. “And shock… But I told them that I’d rather be at home, with you.”

Amanda breathed a sigh of relief but she could still feel the worry and sympathy too much. “Do you want to lie down?” she asked.

There was no verbal answer to that but there was some movement as Djuna picked up her computer and let herself fall onto her bed. She looked so young, even though she was a year older than Amanda.

“Did you sleep?”

“No,” Djuna said. “I tried, but...” She didn’t finish the sentence but Amanda could see that it would have been too hard by the new tears in her eyes. Memories or nightmares, sometimes they were just too close together. Especially when falling asleep just felt like falling.

“Okay,” Amanda said.

They were quiet for a minute while Djuna tried to find a comfortable position to lie in.

“Tell me about BERLIN SEVEN,” she finally said. Only half of her face was visible, the rest was buried in her pillow.

Amanda tried to smile. “As if I wouldn’t be gushing to you about my station every day,” she said. “But of course… What do you want to know?”

“Anything,” Djuna said. “Tell me about the technical stuff. Tell me about the artificial day cycle. Tell me about the agriculture ring.”

For a moment Amanda had to consider, while she was looking at Djuna’s face on her screen. She still looked tired, but somehow hopeful. Calmer. Then she started talking.

“They originally wanted to construct it like a disc.” She laughed quietly. “Imagine that – hundreds of years ago humanity thought Earth was flat and then they live trillions of kilometers away on a space station that has two opposing gravitational levels.”

Djuna exhaled and blew her bangs out of her eyes at the same time. “Man, they should’ve done that,” she said – weakly, but Amanda could hear the interested undertone.

“Technically it would probably have been possible,” Amanda said. “But apparently economically the three levels with the rings surrounding them are better.”

“Bummer,” Djuna said. “But it looks interesting anyway.”

Amanda grinned. “These people living on planets… They don’t know anything.”

Djuna sighed. “Believe me, right now I wish I wasn’t here.”

“I know,” Amanda said. She was quiet again for a second before she continued. “The air is being filtered and kept clean artificially, but we have enough parks and flora to sustain the oxygen,” she said. “We’re very dependent on trade from close systems but the agriculture ring is running well enough to cover basic needs – even though the water consumption is very high.”

Djuna hummed slightly, which was supposed to signal interest. Amanda had to laugh.

“The water system is closed in itself because we of course have no real weather,” she continued to explain. “They can dim the light and regulate the temperature but not conjure up clouds and let it rain. All irrigation is artificial. I’ve heard that it’s supposed to be weird to get used to it.”

“You heard…,” Djuna mumbled.

Amanda shrugged. “I’ve lived here since I can think,” she said. “It’s my home. My normality. I thought the snow on Rolae was very confusing when I was there.”

Now Djuna had to laugh and Amanda’s heart bloomed. She had done it, somehow.

“I wish I would have been there,” Djuna said. “I would have liked to see that.”

“I think I have a picture somewhere,” Amanda said. “I’ll send it to you.”

“Okay.”

“We’re a very popular space port,” Amanda then said to continue her explanation. “Exactly between two systems, and since they altered part of the second ring we’re also very well-suited for vacations and shore leaves.”

“Where do you put the ships?” Djuna asked.

“We have a few docks beneath the first level,” Amanda explained.

“So you technically have four levels,” Djuna said.

Amanda inclined her head. “Yes, you’re right. But three levels meant for living.”

“And a pure working level,” Djuna added.

“Exactly,” Amanda said. “So, we have that one – the ships reach it through a tunnel, otherwise it wouldn’t work with the atmosphere – and another dock outside, which is a little bigger, and-” She stopped herself. She almost would have mentioned shuttles.

Djuna didn’t seem to have noticed, thankfully. “And that’s where your mom works?” she asked.

Amanda nodded. “Yes, she’s working on a dock expansion. And my Dad is responsible for the air system both down here and at the dock.”

“Unbelievable that you didn’t inherit your parents’ technical talent,” Djuna teased and Amanda was almost happy to hear some normality in her voice, even if it was at her expense.

“I have enough technical talent,” Amanda said and stuck out her tongue. “I just decided to foster my talent for languages and diplomatic skills more.”

“That suits you,” Djuna said. “But would you be able to take your hover bike apart and put it back together without having to ask for help?”

Amanda raised her eyebrows and grinned. “I wouldn’t just be able to, I’ve actually done that before.”

“What do you even need that for over there, can’t you walk everywhere?” Djuna asked.

“The station’s not _that_ small.” Amanda shook her head. “And sometimes it’s just faster than the train… And a transporter pass is just not necessary for me while my parents need theirs every day.”

Djuna let her hand travel through the air, her face now entirely buried in her pillow. “Okay, that makes sense.” Amanda could barely understand her.

“Tired?” she asked. Djuna didn’t say anything and only groaned quietly. “You should sleep, babe.”

“I know,” Djuna said indistinctly. “You too...”

“Babe?” Amanda leaned closer to her screen. Djuna didn’t answer but Amanda knew that she wasn’t asleep yet. “I’ll stay here, okay? I’ll still be here when you wake up.” It didn’t bother her that it was already dark outside. She could skip her courses the next day for once. Or would understand and she would quickly message her professors later.

Djuna’s “Okay” was almost inaudible, but Amanda smiled anyway.

“Try,” she said. She left the ‘just’ out. Nothing about this situation was easy.

  


Djuna slept for almost four hours before she bolted up.

Amanda had been working on a design for her engineering science elective – she wasn’t entirely disinclined to the sciences after all, her affinities just lay with the languages more – and she looked up when she heard Djuna’s heavy breathing.

“Hey,” she said.

Djuna seemed to not hear her.

“Djuna,” Amanda said, a little louder.

Djuna flinched and looked down at her computer. “Amy…,” she mumbled and Amanda could see that she was crying again.

“Did you dream?” Amanda asked.

“Yes,” Djuna said first but then she shook her head. “No. I… it was the crash, again.” So a memory, wrapped in the medium in which it could be steered the least. Amanda grimaced sympathetically.

“I wish I could hug you,” she said – the words had escaped her before she could prevent it.

Djuna wiped the tears from her eyes. “Me too.”

Amanda knew that it was unfair. The senseless death through a way of flight that had been proven completely safe for over a century. The fact that so many people now had to suffer. And especially that she couldn’t help Djuna.

“Do you want me to read something to you?” she asked. Audio books had helped her very often when she hadn’t been able to fall asleep – even though this situation was wildly different, of course.

“Please,” Djuna said.

“Do you want to eat something before? Or make yourself some tea?” Amanda asked. She doubted that Djuna had eaten since she had gotten back.

Djuna shook her head but then she slowly picked herself up anyway. “Tea sounds… good, actually,” she mumbled and then disappeared from her room for a few minutes before she returned with a mug.

“Completely incomprehensible Gondornian paper or the new Time Warp novel?” Amanda asked when Djuna had sat down again.

Even about that Djuna had to think for a moment and Amanda smiled. She could barely believe that her girlfriend was considering both options seriously, even though she didn’t even speak Gondornian. The Time Warp series already had four books and Amanda knew that Djuna had read them all but hadn’t found the time for the newest one yet.

“Time Warp,” she finally said. “But I’ve probably forgotten half of the characters already.”

Amanda laughed. “Okay, just tell me when you don’t know a name and I’ll summarize the person for you real quick.”

And then she started to read.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Djuna only recovered slowly.

She visited a therapist provided by her University but Amanda could still sense her discomfort and pain every time when she spoke about shuttles or spaceships. It was hard to see Djuna like this; where there had been excitement before, she now seemed full of fear.

Amanda would never have thought that Djuna’s passion would turn against her like this one day. It felt like a betrayal. As if her science had deserted her. Amanda’s heart hurt every time she saw Djuna brood begrudgingly – sometimes even angrily – over homework she would have tackled with fervor just a few weeks ago.

And Amanda couldn’t do a thing. She was too far away, and loving words only helped so much. She had to trust in Djuna’s friends and her therapist, as hard as it was.

It almost rubbed off on her a little. The next time Amanda sat in the training shuttle her hands shook so hard that she almost couldn’t close them around the control stick.

Her teacher Tay, a different one than in her first week, looked at her with concern. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Amanda said firmly. She wouldn’t let the fear win. This had happened to Djuna, Djuna had to deal with the trauma, not her, Djuna… Djuna could have died.

Amanda burst into tears abruptly.

Her teacher turned her seat to Amanda and carefully put a hand on her arm. “Hey. What’s going on?”

So Amanda told her. What other choice did she have? She told her about the accident, that Djuna hadn’t even been directly involved in. And about the fear that was now haunting her. And now she was sitting here, looking at her teacher, still with tears in her eyes, and had the worst feeling in her gut. What if she was never going to fly again now? What if Tay was going to forbid it? What if she was never going to be able to sit behind the controls of a space shuttle again without breaking down?

The delayed onset of the fear and the shock confused her. How had she pushed all of this away until now? Had she just never noticed the shaking of her hands?

Tay smiled at her sympathetically. “You know, I think this is totally normal.”

“Oh… do you really think so?”

“Especially over long distances something like this happens often. You don’t have the direct contact and can only watch from afar as she tortures herself.” Of course Amanda had already thought about this. But she hadn’t considered how it would affect her. Empathy was normal. “This will pass,” Tay said, full of conviction. “But you could also visit a counselor or therapist, to help you through this.”

Amanda nodded. “I’ll think about it.” It was a good idea. She couldn’t help Djuna like this – her focus should be on taking care of herself. Shuttles were safe. She was safe. Djuna was safe.

  


  


Almost two weeks later Djuna called her suddenly when it was almost midnight already and Amanda instinctively accepted the call. She had told Djuna that she could call any time, and she had meant it.

She picked up her communicator, already in bed, and her room was darker than she would have liked for this situation. Djuna’s face appeared. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“They finished their investigation!” Djuna looked so angry. “It wasn’t a freak accident!”

There the tears were again. Amanda looked on helplessly and for a moment panic overcame her. Would it never end? But then Djuna wiped the tears from her face and hit the table with her flat hand.

“The fuel reacts with a component of the atmosphere!” She was so angry, and so passionate, and so full of energy. She had never looked more beautiful to Amanda. “Sure, it was an accident, but we could have avoided it if we had found the error earlier.”

Amanda bit her lip. She didn’t know if she was allowed to ask… If she could. Finally she brought herself to do it. “Why had nothing happened until now?”

“Because all tanks and heat shields had been functional and tight so far,” she said. “Which is almost always a guarantee. Except of course in 0.01% of cases. Incredibly rare, but the risk is big enough for me. It can’t happen again.”

The spark was back in Djuna’s eyes and Amanda could already see the fire blazing up in her. Djuna had a mission again.

“What are you going to do?”

Djuna grinned. “Either I’ll create a new design for shuttles,” she said, and then, then came the part that would stay in Amanda’s memory, “or I’ll find a new type of fuel. Either way, this will be my graduation project. I know it.”

  


  


She threw herself into her work almost immediately.

And it didn’t bother Amanda that she saw less of her now. Because this meant that Djuna was doing better. That she was doing something that gave her a sense of purpose, and motivation. That she had found her love for engineering again.

Djuna would do great things, Amanda was sure.

From then on, they were both healing, and the better Djuna was doing, the less bad Amanda’s problems became. The discovery of the error at the shuttle wreck seemed to have been the breakthrough for Djuna and from then on she was making big steps towards her old self.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Amanda spent a lot of time thinking about how she could be able meet Djuna as soon as possible. But even via her University the next affordable flight to Earth wasn’t available until over six months in the future. Amanda was in fact thinking about applying for a semester outside of the planet – or rather the station, in this case – to be able to spend more time with Djuna, but reason was keeping her from it for now. She had never been that far away from BERLIN SEVEN and immediately going away for half a year might have been tempting, but wasn’t a good idea in the end.

It displeased her, but she had to admit that it just wasn’t realistic at the moment. Earth was too far away, no matter how close Djuna seemed sometimes.

It pained her but she knew that she had to practice herself in patience – something that she had never been particularly good with. A weakness that had been plaguing her since her childhood.

But one day she would have enough money to take her chance.

The universe might be endless, but the star routes to Earth were well explored. The way was clear and bright – and almost within grasp. Patience. Patience.

Maybe one day she would really have her own ship, and then she would be able to visit Djuna whenever she wanted to. But she pushed the thought aside quickly – she wasn’t that good at flying yet, and her studies weren’t geared towards this.

(But of course the thought wouldn’t leave her mind. It was always the things that one couldn’t have that seemed the most tempting.)

  


Soon she barely had the opportunity to feel bad because of the distance to Djuna. The semester was approaching its end and that meant exams over exams.

She was happy when she found a little time to call Djuna, and she was sure that it wouldn’t have been different had they been living on the same planet. She did her best, of course, but they both knew that Uni sometimes had priority.

Most of their video calls happened in shared silence now, while both of them brooded over notes or worked on projects. Amanda had seen as much of Djuna’s workshop at the University as of her room at home by now, since she spent most of her day there now. From time to time Amanda rattled off Catrian verb forms while Djuna worked on her shuttle mock up and listened to her with half an ear. Amanda was much more confident in her grasp of the language now but she wanted to review some of the more complicated tenses again before final exams.

They were both anxious for the end of the semester to finally come, so they would finally be able to see more of each other again – and finally get more than five hours of sleep a night again.

  


~*~

  


The last day before the summer break started the same way every other day on BERLIN SEVEN did: sunny and 22 degrees. Amanda was running late, so she had only thrown on a t-shirt and pulled on some shorts, since the day wasn’t hugely important anymore, anyway. The announcement of their grades was only a formality but she wanted to be in attendance to be able to see her friends one last time before a lot of them returned to their home planets or disappeared for long excursions.

In the evening the ceremonies for the graduating classes would take place, which Mendrz was a part of. Amanda was proud of xier but also secretly happy that xier current plan was to stay on BERLIN SEVEN and help with the advancement of the agricultural ring. She had seen a lot of friends come to and go from the station and when one wasn’t sick of saying goodbye to them from the beginning already, it still happened eventually. The distance wasn’t always the problem for her, but the goodbyes often hurt so much that for a time it felt like she would never feel anything else.

Despite that, the graduation ceremonies were always beautiful and the official start of summer on the station, where the weather never changed – except during rare solar storms, of which Amanda had only ever experience two in her life.

She sat down in the big lecture hall and half-listened to the speech of the institute’s dean before the special distinctions for the class. The grade announcement was only for show, nothing except the diploma was printed on real paper anymore, and Amanda had all her grades except for one essay on her tablet already.

  


After the official ending of the semester for everyone except the graduates there were still a few hours until the graduation ceremony, so she went to a nearby café with Or and a few friends from her Catrian class, to eat lunch and celebrate the break.

After they had entered their orders into the small tablets in the table Amanda quickly checked her communicator. Djuna had to be awake by now. And sure enough she had answered one of Amanda’s last messages. Amanda smiled and wrote a quick, new message.

> Amy: _phew. finally on break._
> 
> Djuna: _holidays, that’d be nice…_

Amanda tuned out her friends’ conversation as she, confused, waited for the second message that surely had to come. The break times for BERLIN SEVEN were similar to those of Djuna’s University, they should also start next week – and Amanda knew exactly that Djuna had already written all her exams and finished all her projects.

> Djuna: _I signed up for an excursion to mars_
> 
> Amy: _wow!_
> 
> Amy: _that’s the first i’m hearing of this…_

Amy: _are you sure?_

> Djuna: _it was pretty spontaneous, the ad didn’t come out until last week_
> 
> Djuna: _i can do this_
> 
> Djuna: _long live therapy sessions (Y)_

Amanda wasn’t entirely sure if it was a good idea of Djuna to immediately go that far away from home but then she pushed the thought away. She didn’t have the right to discourage Djuna. She knew herself best and if she thought she could do it, then that was good. She had wanted the old Djuna back, now she couldn’t hold her back.

If Djuna was sure, that was enough.

> Amy: _i’m so proud of you!_
> 
> Djuna: _thanks. but free time will be rare of course. i’m sorry :(_
> 
> Amy: _are you kidding? you’re going to mars!!_

“What are you smiling about?” Or wanted to know and leaned over her shoulder nosily.

“Djuna is going to Mars!” Amanda declared immediately and probably also a little too loudly, but she couldn’t stop herself. She grinned brightly at Or.

“Wow!” Or seemed to be genuinely excited. “I’d love to go there too someday.”

Dario, one of the others, scoffed deprecatingly. “Why go to Mars when you can also visit an inhabited planet?”

Amanda frowned. “There’s a colony on Mars.”

“Yes, but there’s no native Martians that were already there before humans came.”

“And? It’s still an important part of space travel history,” Amanda replied. “Like Arten XV for the Qcolswa.”

For a moment Dario looked at her in confusion, then Or started to laugh. “Man, I love it when you lecture people in history.”

“Okay, you’re right,” Dario said. “But it’s still not very far away...”

“You have to start somewhere,” Or said. And he was right. No one could immediately go light-years over light-years away from their home planet. That wasn’t how space travel had started, and it also wasn’t what Djuna would do.

The argument ended with that and Amanda’s attention returned to her burger.

  


The ceremony in the evening was exactly as emotional as Amanda had imagined.

She sat in the audience while Mendrz received xier diploma on the stage and, amidst her tears, she wondered what it would look like when she stood in the same spot in two years time. If Djuna would be at her side.

Then she pushed the thoughts aside and focused on Mendrz’ speech.

Xie spoke of the vastness of space, and that it spread out in front of all of them, ready to take them in. Of the experiences of the past and the adventures waiting in the future. Of the fact that not only space was endless, but also the potential of the people that were standing and sitting in this room with her.

The speech ended in thunderous applause and Mendrz bowed with a smile before xie waved at the section where Amanda and her friends were sitting and then left the stage.


End file.
